


i just wanna (be yours again)

by soobiscuits



Series: #IJW [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, baby!sehun, parents!baekxing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8830150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soobiscuits/pseuds/soobiscuits
Summary: Baekhyun just wants to be Yixing's again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this happened because i wanted to write sexing but couldn't give up on baekxing 
> 
> (exams are over yay)

Seven months.

 

Baekhyun has not been Yixing’s for a little more than seven months. He has not been sleeping next to his husband for most of the nights during those seven months, has not been eating meals with him for most of those seven months, and has _not_ been getting Yixing’s attention most of the time, even though they were in the same room, for those seven months. Baekhyun is mad, mad, _mad_ , both emotionally and, well, _almost_ psychologically.

 

He blames this distance between him and his beloved husband on the little human currently cradled in Yixing’s arms. The little human that came into this world seven months ago and has hogged his Yixing all to himself ever since. What a selfish little human their son is.

 

“Yixing…”

 

“Give me a moment,” Yixing says, briefly lifting his head up from where he’s been looking at for the past four minutes and gives Baekhyun a small smile. He doesn’t wait for Baekhyun to return the favour, dropping his gaze immediately to the little human in his arms. The small smile widens; the growing smile on Baekhyun’s face drops. “Let me finish feeding Shixun.”

 

Shixun is the name Yixing gave to the little human that he brought into this world seven months ago, while Sehun is the Korean equivalent of that name, a name that Baekhyun gave to his son seven months ago as he looked down, from his spot right next to Yixing who was sitting up on his bed in the hospital ward with their son in his arms, proudly and fondly at the two boys Baekhyun knew he’d love for the rest of his life. That was seven months ago.

 

Now, seven months on, Sehun is just a name for _the little human who stole my Yixing_ . It isn’t that Baekhyun has ceased to regard Sehun as his child, it’s just that it’s hard to _like_ his own son because he’s the cause of Yixing’s neglect towards him. And while Baekhyun understands that Yixing had been excitedly waiting and waiting and waiting to be a parent since they’ve found out about his pregnancy, and that babies need to be constantly accompanied by an adult, Baekhyun just– just– _just_ wants Yixing. He just wants Yixing back. Seven months without much physical contact and conversations have been hard on Baekhyun, but he makes sure to hide his exasperation and loneliness beneath layers and layers of smiles and acquiescence whenever Yixing apologetically rejects time together due to whatever Sehun was doing at those moments—mostly crying, wailing, sobbing, or glaring at Baekhyun (as though he’s not one of his parents).

 

Baekhyun understands; he really does. And his exasperation will always be put away for a short while whenever he sees the fondest smile on Yixing’s face when he's with baby Sehun. But Baekhyun’s heart hurts whenever the toll of these seven months of constant care shows in the form of exhaustion hidden in the corners of his husband’s gentle smiles. He wants to say something, but decides against it every time.

 

And Baekhyun doesn't know why.

  


\---

  


“Never thought you’d be the one to develop postnatal depression instead of Yixing,” Kyungsoo says in between bites of his ham sandwich. He puts it down and wipes his dirtied fingers on a piece of napkin. He picks up the sandwich again, and takes another bite. Kyungsoo’s behaviour baffles Baekhyun, but he bites back a snort. He doesn't want Kyungsoo to be offended and run out on him. Not when he's the one who called his best friend’s husband—or maybe actually _just_ the best friend but somehow the husband decided to come in his stead—out for lunch cum post-labour catch-up.

 

“I’m not having postnatal depression,” Baekhyun snorts, a bit of his pulled pork sandwich flying out of his mouth. He ignores Kyungsoo’s look of disgust and waves away the tissue offered to him. “This–” Baekhyun gestures to all of himself with the hand that's not holding onto his sandwich. “– _isn’t_ depression.”

 

Kyungsoo cocks a brow. “Okay. But you’ve been feeling something.” It’s a statement, but Baekhyun hears the question in Kyungsoo’s tone, and the concern that tugs at the stubborn corners of Kyungsoo’s lips. Baekhyun feels warm, and he wants to laugh and pull Kyungsoo into a hug because _aww you care about me!_ but he doesn't because _he still wants to live_.

 

Also, nothing escapes Kyungsoo’s eyes. And Baekhyun knows that it's useless to keep secrets from Kyungsoo unless he has a death wish (which he doesn’t). “I just feel…”  

 

“Feel…?”

 

“Feel… Ugh, I don’t know!” Baekhyun throws both his hands up, bits of pork and lettuce detaching from the sandwich and they fly through the air. Kyungsoo dodges the pork bit with a formidable scowl, grabbing a piece of napkin to wipe at the imaginary pork stain on his jumper. Baekhyun takes this chance to dive out of the spotlight by changing the subject.

 

“A-And enough about me. What’s been going on with you, Soo?” Baekhyun points a finger at Kyungsoo, who slaps it away with a perfectly cleaned hand. Baekhyun laughs, but slaps Kyungsoo back on the arm. He raises a brow when Kyungsoo doesn’t retaliate. “You’re not retaliating.” An exaggerated gasp. “ _Who are you and what have you done with my Soo–_ ”

 

Kyungsoo retaliates with a soft kick to Baekhyun’s shin. He misses and ends up kicking the back of Baekhyun’s knee instead. Baekhyun hisses in pain anyway so, fair enough. “Shut up. I’m still the same Kyungsoo who can and _would_ beat you to a pulp.” He feints a punch to Baekhyun’s face for emphasis, causing Baekhyun to instinctively flinch and _okay_ , Baekhyun gets it. “And there’s nothing going on with me either. Still staying home, still a househusband.”

 

“Hmm, how are things going with baby Kris, or Yifan, or whatever you’ve named him– _ow_! What was that for!” Baekhyun rubs at the back of his neck, glowering at an unrepentant Kyungsoo. Figures. Dude doesn’t have an ounce of remorse in his blood of hatred and regret. Baekhyun doesn’t know why his best friend fell in love with this person.

 

“My son is named Kris _and_ Yifan. It’s not _whatever_ , alright.”

 

“I don’t understand why your son has to have two different names.”

 

“Pot calling the kettle black, friend.”

 

Baekhyun scoffs. “Hardly. It’s because Yixing is Chinese and his family wanted a Chinese name to go along with his Korean.” He shoots Kyungsoo a pointed look. “Whereas _Yifan_ ’s parents are both _Koreans_ so I can’t understand why his name isn’t at all Korean. I mean, what kind of sorcery is this!”

 

“There is no sorcery involved, child,” Kyungsoo deadpans. “Chanyeol and I just didn’t want a Korean name, that’s all. And as for his English and Chinese names–”

 

“Yes, what about them?” Baekhyun unwittingly pipes up. And Kyungsoo wittingly shuts down.

 

“Nothing. That is another story for another day because this lunch is about you and your postnatal depression or whatever feelings you’ve been experiencing.” Kyungsoo jerks his chin towards Baekhyun who suddenly seems to find his almost-finished sandwich interesting. He scrutinises the piece of cheese that’s slapped between the pork and dozens of olives. “Stop staring at the poor cheese, it’s been melted enough—” Kyungsoo plucks the sandwich out of Baekhyun’s fingers, ignoring whimpers, and wraps it up nice and pretty with the paper it came wrapped in. “—god, Baekhyun, can you focus on your problem for _one second_?”

 

Baekhyun looks at Kyungsoo and he knows he’s going to regret doing this—“One second!”—but he does it anyway. “Okay done, I’ve focused on it for one second. Can I have my sandwich back now?” He makes a grab for the package in Kyungsoo’s hands.

 

Kyungsoo glares murderously, effectively halting all of Baekhyun’s feeble attempts and Baekhyun quietly and obediently settles back onto his seat. He feels small, even though Kyungsoo is smaller in built. This feeling sucks. And as though Kyungsoo could read his mind, he says, “This doesn’t suck one bit, Baek. The thing that sucks more is your unresolved problematic feelings for your innocent son and the toll it’s taking on Yixing.”

 

At the mention of Yixing, Baekhyun snaps his head up. He ignores the crick in his neck. “Yixing?”

 

The expression of disbelief on Kyungsoo’s face annoys Baekhyun. “You know I did mention Sehun, right? _Your_ son?”

 

Baekhyun clucks his tongue, impatient. “What did you mean about Yixing.”

 

Kyungsoo’s face turns blank. “You’re so fucked up, Byun, you know that?” He places Baekhyun’s wrapped sandwich back onto his tray. “I mentioned both your son and husband but the only person you were worried about is Yixing.”

 

“Yixing is my husband,” Baekhyun grits.

 

“And Sehun is your son!” Kyungsoo slams a palm down on the table, though not that hard, but the table jostles. Neighbouring tables begin to look over and Baekhyun shrinks under all the curiousity. “Now that I’ve seen your responses firsthand, I know why Yixing has been having it hard for all these months. _No thanks to you_.”

 

Kyungsoo looks absolutely livid, and disgusted when Baekhyun reaches over to gently tug at his sleeve. Baekhyun wants to take his hand back, because Kyungsoo looks like he’s seconds away from wanting to rip Baekhyun’s hand off his sweater, but he wants to know what Kyungsoo meant. Why would Yixing be having it hard when he’s the one who’s been suffering instead. Why Yixing? Why can’t everyone see how he’s been thirsting for contact in the drought their son brought along with his birth?

 

But before Baekhyun could open his mouth to ask, Kyungsoo raises a hand in the air. “I don’t want to hear your whiny voice so I’m going to say it first. Yixing is having it hard because he’s the one taking care of Sehun. Day in, day out, for seven months, it’s been Yixing caring for Sehun.” He puts the hand down and looks straight at Baekhyun. “Do you understand now?”

 

Baekhyun stares back at Kyungsoo. Blinks. Tilts his head. No, he doesn’t.

 

Kyungsoo sighs. “Of course not. I’m a fool for thinking that you’d know how exhausted your husband is from being Sehun’s _only_ carer.” He sneaks a glance at Baekhyun who blinks. His head is still tilted. Kyungsoo looks like he's a split second away from wanting to slam his forehead onto the table. “Really, Baekhyun, _really_? You still don’t get what I’m saying?”

 

Baekhyun walks his hands over to where he thinks his friend’s forehead might end up, and places them flat on the surface. There, saving his best friend’s husband’s head in exchange for broken fingers. Perfectly reasonable. Baekhyun’s so absorbed in his thoughts that he almost misses the fingers snapping in front of his face.

 

“Baekhyun, focus!”

 

“I am!” Baekhyun darts his eyes up to Kyungsoo’s, grimacing a little when he meets with fiery ones. He wants to cower but sometimes he knows he's gotta be strong in the face of a Do Kyungsoo. Like now. “Aren’t you just saying what I already know? That Yixing has been taking care of Sehun since he’s born and–”

 

“Ugh, you’re such an idiot!” The downright menacing glare that Kyungsoo is directing at Baekhyun is chipping away his fearlessness; he forces himself to not tremble. “Why are you not seeing it!”

 

“Seeing what!”

 

“What you're doing to Yixing!”

 

“I'm not doing anything to Yixing! We haven't done anything together— _and I don’t mean bedroom stuff_ —in the past seven months!” Baekhyun is frustrated now, driven to frustration by Kyungsoo’s cryptic words and the unreachable carrot of something about Yixing which Kyungsoo is dangling over his head. “I don’t know what else to see or think!” Baekhyun is going to go mad.

 

They glare at each other for a few moments, until the curious stares and glances from neighbouring tables and perhaps the entire sandwich joint prove too much to bear and Kyungsoo leans back onto his seat first. He inhales deeply, and exhales just as deeply; Baekhyun follows suit.

 

“Alright, let’s start all over again,” Kyungsoo speaks up, voice steady and calm. He puts his sandwich aside and clasps his hands together on the table. Baekhyun notices that he’s getting into a counselling kind of mode now. Great, Spontaneous Counsellor Kyungsoo is the last thing he needs right now.

 

“I’m only going to say this one last time, so listen.” Kyungsoo points to his own ears, then to Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun resists rolling his eyes, and nods instead. He can listen. He. Can. For the sake of Yixing, and himself. He’s going to decipher whatever Kyungsoo is about to tell him.

 

“Yixing has been the _only one_ caring for Sehun.”

 

After saying that, Kyungsoo unclasps his hands and reaches for his sandwich. He unwraps it and resumes eating. “I’m sorry that I cannot say anything more, but you know what counsellors do—guide and empower, not give advice or preach. So.” Kyungsoo shrugs and smiles around the sandwich he has in his mouth. “Think about it over work, then go home and talk it out with Yixing. Alright?” The gentle pat that Kyungsoo reaches over the table to place on Baekhyun’s shoulder cements Baekhyun’s answer.

 

“Okay. Thanks, Soo.”

  


\---

  


When a bedraggled Baekhyun finally arrives home, with his jacket draped over a forearm while his messenger bag dangles haphazardly on the other, he immediately makes a beeline for his and Yixing’s bedroom. He’s going to have The Talk with Yixing, even if Baekhyun hasn’t quite figured out what Kyungsoo had meant. He’s going in with absolutely nothing on his mind, except the thought of wanting to properly talk to Yixing for the first time in seven months, and while that’s obviously dumb of him, what else can Baekhyun do? He wants to have this talk with Yixing, but doesn’t know what to say. He _needs_ to talk to Yixing, but still hasn’t deciphered Kyungsoo’s words from lunch.

 

It only dawns on him when he steps into the room and realises that he isn’t at all surprised to find Sehun in Yixing’s arms. Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

Baekhyun looks down at his own arms, the strap of the messenger bag and his jacket are all that he sees. Though, if he wants to admit, there’s something else. An invisible, phantom bout of warmth that always ghosts across the skin of his biceps and forearms each time he sets his eyes on his baby son. The same warmth that had spread across his arms, his entire body, that first time he carried Sehun in the hospital. Sehun was only two days old then when Yixing asked if he wanted to hold their son. And as Baekhyun lets himself be drawn into the memory, the recollection of his second time comes into view. That was when Yixing said that Baekhyun should be the one to introduce Sehun to their humble abode by bringing him into their apartment; and the third, when Yixing fell asleep that first night their apartment welcomed a third family member and Baekhyun had to pry Sehun from his arms to lay the baby into his cot; the fourth, when Baekhyun couldn’t prepare Sehun’s milk properly and Yixing took over and Baekhyun earned himself an armful of Sehun instead. The fifth joins in easily after that, followed by the sixth, the seventh, and the number goes on. Baekhyun smiles as he recalls every single time he’s had his son in his arms, surprised at how he’s able to remember them all even though he’s been feeling… negatively towards him.

 

Though, the smile slides off his face when the memories come to an end and the scene of the last time Sehun was in his arms floats into Baekhyun’s consciousness. It was after Sehun had been fed and Baekhyun was burping him while Yixing was washing the bottle. Baekhyun was, frankly, feeling really exhausted from work and he knew he might come off as unintentionally rude and cranky should someone provoke him. He was right. For when Baekhyun opened his mouth, about to ask Yixing if they could catch a movie on the couch after putting Sehun to bed, he was requested by Yixing to hand Sehun over instead. Even after declining and reasoning that he was perfectly fine to hold Sehun, Baekhyun was still told to pass Sehun over to Yixing. The repeated requests got on Baekhyun’s already-irritated nerves, and even though he knew that his husband probably just wanted to relieve him of his aching arms from carrying their son for almost an hour, Baekhyun blew up anyway.

 

_“If you wanted to spend more time with Sehun instead of with me, all you had to do was say it.”_

 

The scene vanished from behind of Baekhyun’s eyes the moment memory-Baekhyun placed memory-Sehun in memory-Yixing’s arms and stomped off to their bedroom. The brown of their bedroom flooring fills Baekhyun’s vision once more, and Baekhyun doesn’t return to reality until the soft _thump_ of his bag and jacket hits the floor, yanking him out of his daze just in time to hear Yixing’s greeting.

 

“Ah, Baekhyun, welcome home!”

 

Yixing’s smile is the first thing Baekhyun sees when he lifts his head. He pretends that the exhaustion on his husband’s face doesn’t exist. Picking up his jacket and bag, Baekhyun places them in the same spot he always places them in their room before traipsing over to the bed. He stops right at the edge, clearly at a loss of what to do next. Yixing has gone back to feeding Sehun, the bottle almost empty. Sehun is going to be burped next. Should Baekhyun help Yixing with that while he washes the bottle? Should they reenact the scene of the last time Baekhyun had held Sehun…?

 

Apparently Yixing is thinking along the same lines as Baekhyun (of course, they’re not husbands for nothing). “Do you want to burp Shixun while I wash the bottle?” Yixing’s eyes are bright and hopeful, despite the tiredness so evident in them, as they gaze up at Baekhyun and Baekhyun almost says _yes_.

 

“No, it’s fine.” is what he says instead. “You– You should burp him. I don’t think he’d like me to do it.” Baekhyun takes a tiny step back. The instant drop of Yixing’s expression, the way the light in Yixing’s eyes just extinguishes, makes Baekhyun feel that he’s just taken a step out of Yixing’s world, out of Yixing’s life. Immense regret floods him immediately, and he quickly adds on, “I– I have something to say to you, dear.”

 

Yet, the way that Yixing’s eyes suddenly light up again upon hearing the endearment that just slipped out of Baekhyun’s mouth without him meaning to, sends a bout of hope surging through Baekhyun. The hope only grows larger when Yixing smiles and nods. “Okay. Just let me settle Shixun first, and I’ll head out once I’m done.”

 

With an acquiescing smile, Baekhyun quietly slips out of their bedroom with Sehun’s milk bottle in hand. He had asked for it, since Yixing will be burping Sehun so he ought to _do something_. Baekhyun heads to the kitchen and washes the bottle in the sink. Minutes later, once the bottle is left drying in the rack, he plops himself onto the couch. And, with a cushion in his arms, Baekhyun waits.

 

Yixing never comes.

  


\---

  


The soft sigh that instinctively slips out of Baekhyun the moment he steps into their bedroom and sees Yixing slumped over the edge of Sehun’s cot is one quarter disbelief and three quarters fond. He should have known. Should have known better than to trust the tiny inkling of doubt that Yixing might have intentionally gone to sleep in order to avoid whatever Baekhyun wanted to talk about with him. Baekhyun _really_ should have known better, _really_ should be starting to evaluate what on earth is happening to him because he’s actually beginning to doubt his precious, beloved Yixing. And that is just so fucked up.

 

He tiptoes in, eyes never leaving his Yixing. The smile that had, somehow, secretly formed on Baekhyun’s face grows wider when he reaches his husband’s side and takes in his sleeping form. Their bedroom doesn’t have curtains—what with Yixing saying _what a waste of water for something unimportant so no, no curtains Baek!_ —so the windows are unobscured and since night has descended hours ago, the moon’s silver light streams in unabashedly, creeping up Yixing’s back and bathing the back of his head in white and silver. Baekhyun hasn’t seen Yixing like this since, well, since Sehun was born and he can’t help but reach out and gently thread his fingers through his husband’s tresses. His smile blooms.

 

“Uuuuh.”

 

A soft gurgle comes from above Yixing’s head and Baekhyun immediately looks up… to find his son looking right back at him. _Huh_ , Baekhyun’s certain that Sehun had his eyes closed and was asleep when he walked in. _Well, he’s not asleep now_. Pouting, Baekhyun reluctantly removes his hand from Yixing’s hair and kneels down next to him. He dares not to place his arms on the cot mattress for fear of jostling Yixing awake, as well as possibly incurring Sehun’s wrath. Baekhyun is never going to forget the numerous glares he’s received from his baby son. So, nope, his hands are perfectly comfortable on his thighs.

 

But Baekhyun keeps his eyes on Sehun’s, intrigued by the fact that the little human is not, for the very first time, _not_ glaring at him. And when there’s no glaring involved, Baekhyun can clearly see something. Baby Sehun’s eyes resemble Yixing’s, sleepy-looking (or maybe because Sehun _is_ sleepy) and soft, yet sharp at the same time. It doesn’t take too long for Baekhyun to blush from the intense way he’s being stared at, as though he was caught doing something illegal. (Well, Baekhyun _wouldn’t_ do anything to Yixing, not when Sehun is just _right there_. Baekhyun has morals, okay.)

 

Escaping the seemingly judging eyes of his son, Baekhyun drops his gaze and amusement inexplicably washes over him when he sees his husband’s hand on their son. Yixing has a hand splayed on baby Sehun’s front—he must have dozed off while patting Sehun to sleep. Sehun’s chest is the length of his father’s long, pretty, and delicate fingers while his tummy is slightly larger than Yixing’s palm. Babies are so, so adorably small; Baekhyun can’t help but let out a laugh, only to slap both hands over his mouth to shut himself up when he remembers that his husband is asleep.

 

“Aaah hah.”

 

Baekhyun snaps his eyes to the source of the sound, and his heart almost explodes when he sees an open-mouth, four-toothed smile on his baby son’s face, sleepy-looking eyes curved into crescents and– oh gosh, Sehun really resembles Yixing. Baekhyun is so, so enamoured. And he feels so attacked right now because Sehun is also clapping his hands while spitting out the same sound and– _is my son laughing with me?_ A tinge of shame gnaws at Baekhyun when he realises that after seven months, he still doesn’t know how his son’s laughter sounds like, or how he looks when he’s smiling or laughing. This display of seemingly genuine happiness from Sehun has caught Baekhyun severely off guard and unprepared. Sehun really, really, _really_ looks so much like Yixing when he smiles and laughs (or Baekhyun thinks Sehun is).

 

They’ve made and birthed such a good-looking little human. Baekhyun feels so proud.

 

But just when Baekhyun thinks he couldn’t be more enamoured with his son, Sehun just had to _smile even wider_. And Baekhyun gasps, for Sehun has inherited _his_ rectangular smile.

 

Baekhyun is awestruck.

 

Kneeling by the cot and only an arm’s length away from his son, Baekhyun gapes at baby Sehun, eyes unable to tear away from the baby’s happy expression. He’s so enraptured, Baekhyun almost misses hearing Sehun’s cry, but promptly snaps out of his trance to be greeted by the most adorable sight he’s ever seen (and no one tell Yixing that his ten consecutive aegyo poses have been pushed to second place).

 

Baby Sehun has his arms outstretched, tiny tiny fingers curled and making grabby actions while his mouth is shaped like a goldfish’s. Baekhyun feels like he’s been shot. Shot by a large cannon ball of extreme cuteness that is his baby son. Those tiny fingers will be the death of him. (Well, Baekhyun _is_ dying of cuteness now.)

 

And as if Sehun couldn’t sense that his father is at the door of death due to his cuteness, he just had to start kicking his short and stubby legs. The cuteness level just shot through the roof of Baekhyun’s cuteness threshold. He feels a nosebleed coming. But Baekhyun doesn’t have time to care about his imaginary nosebleed for his inaction has made Sehun angry, and the little human’s happy expression has all but dissolved into a look matching his emotion. Baby Sehun’s kicking movement is also shaking the cot, and the sleeping Yixing is shaking along with it. Not to mention, Yixing’s hand is still on the baby’s chest.

 

Not wanting Sehun’s movements to wake his husband up, Baekhyun quickly, but gently and carefully, removes Yixing’s hand from the baby’s chest before slotting his hands under the baby’s armpits and hefts him up. Baekhyun actually _grunts_ in the midst of lifting Sehun in the air and to his chest. Woah, he most definitely hadn’t expected his baby son to be this… heavy. But once Sehun’s buttock is resting on a forearm and those adorable tiny fingers have found purchase in the collar of Baekhyun’s dress shirt, Baekhyun doesn’t find his son heavy anymore. In fact, Sehun’s actually pretty light.

 

He’s gone quiet, Sehun, and Baekhyun can feel him staring as he traipses over to the queen bed, free hand yanking the comforter off before dragging it over to Yixing; Yixing’s hand had been cold to the touch when Baekhyun was placing it onto Sehun’s baby mattress and Baekhyun’s heart had ached with pain. Despite almost falling over and kneeing his husband in the head, Baekhyun manages to literally singlehandedly drape the comforter onto Yixing’s back. Throughout it all, Yixing doesn’t even stir. Baekhyun’s heart stings even more because _just how exhausted is Yixing?_

 

Baekhyun would have spent the entire night gazing guiltily at Yixing if not for a familiar gurgle and a soft pat on his cheek that remind him of the little human he still has in his arms. “Alright, alright. We’ll go out and leave ba-ba to sleep peacefully.” Baekhyun hefts Sehun up once more and after making sure that Yixing is soundly and comfortably asleep, he tiptoes out of the room with Sehun in tow.

 

Sitting on the couch, Baekhyun gently removes his forearm from Sehun’s buttock and rest him on his thighs, only to realise that he can’t lean back because tiny fingers are still grabbing onto his collar. “Sehun, let go. Daddy has to put you on his lap,” Baekhyun softly says, remembering that the door to their bedroom isn’t closed (because of Yixing’s rule: _no doors closed in our apartment; besides the bathroom door when we’re showering separately of course_ ) and his voice is loud. He tries to pry Sehun’s fingers off his collar, careful to not use much strength at all for fear of breaking those fragile fingers, but to no avail. Sehun’s fingers are strong; Baekhyun wonders what fine motor exercises Yixing has been giving to Sehun for such great development. Yixing is such a wonderful parent.

 

“Fine.” Baekhyun gives up. He slides his forearm back under Sehun’s buttock and lifts him up, much to the delight of the little human who immediately lets out the same laughter of _aaah hah_ with the accompaniment of crescent eyes and an adorable smile. Baekhyun scoots backward until his back is leaning against the couch, with enough space to cross his legs and make himself comfortable. Likewise, Baby Sehun seems to have made himself comfortable in Baekhyun’s arms. Head pillowed on his father’s chest, fingers still gripping onto the collar, and stubby legs hanging on both sides of Baekhyun’s ribs.

 

The father-son pair lay on the couch like that for nobody-knows-how-long. Baekhyun isn’t looking at his son per se, eyes occasionally darting away from the row of photo frames on the television console and downwards to the tuft of black hair to check on Sehun. He doesn’t dare to move, nor touch him, because Baekhyun reckons that Sehun might snap out of whatever trance he’s fallen into and begin to make a loud ruckus that would no doubt wake Yixing up. Baekhyun says that Sehun’s in a trance because he’s silent, silent and unmoving _in his arms_. And this shouldn’t be happening.

 

Sehun hasn’t been carried by another person since he was probably two to three months old, and from his experience of babies of his colleagues and of his older brother, Baekhyun knows how attached these little humans are to their primary caretakers. Any other person that they’re being handed off to will definitely ignite snotty wails and never ending buckets of tears, coupled with arm flailing and leg kicking.

 

 _So why?_ Why in the world is Sehun not making a huge fuss when Yixing is not the one carrying him? Why is he not wailing and trying to get away from his other parent who couldn’t find it in himself to hold his own son because of– because of his _jealousy_?

 

“You know, Sehun,” Baekhyun suddenly pipes up, and he feels Sehun jolt in his arms. He laughs softly. Dipping his head down, Baekhyun meets his son’s eyes at the same time Sehun tilts his head up. Baekhyun inhales sharply, for he feels… something stirring in his chest. It doesn’t hurt, but Baekhyun doesn’t know what it is. So he ignores it.

 

Hefting Sehun to his other arm in order to let the aching one rest for a while, Baekhyun continues to whisper to Sehun. “Y’know, Sehun—ah, that is daddy’s name for you—before you came along and proceeded to occupy most of your ba-ba’s time and attention, daddy was the one who was in your spot. Ba-ba and I were inseparable, always doing things together, always going out together. We’re practically joined at the hip, and your Uncle Soo and Uncle Yeol would always tease us for all that.” Baekhyun smiles as he recalls Kyungsoo’s eyerolls and Chanyeol’s knowing smirks back then when Baekhyun would more often than not drag Yixing out on adventures in the city Yixing was a stranger to. Good times, good times.

 

“Daddy was ba-ba’s friend, best friend, boyfriend, and husband before you became his son, his precious angel.” Baekhyun directs his wistful to Sehun, who is still looking up at his father with the sleepy-looking yet sharp eyes Baekhyun has identified earlier. There is no smile on the baby’s face, though the corners of his tiny lips are slightly, _slightly_ downturned. Baekhyun can only hope that that is not his son’s displeased expression. “And now, all ba-ba seems to need is his precious angel. He doesn’t seem to need his husband, and Sehun— _Shixun_ —you don’t even like me. So I don’t even know why you’re so willing to be in my arms even though daddy hasn’t carried you in so many months.”

 

The smile slides off Baekhyun’s face as he sighs. The breath from his mouth must have reached Sehun’s face for the baby suddenly scrunches up his nose, squeezes shut his eyes, lips tightly pressing together and Baekhyun feels the grip on his collar tightening. He’s not choking. Yet.

 

“Daddy doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t dislike you, not at all,” Baekhyun whispers, his fingers curling into the softness of Sehun’s diaper. He dares to lean his forehead against Sehun’s tiny one, careful with his strength. Their eyes meet once more and the _something_ in Baekhyun’s chest stirs again. He doesn’t ignore it this time, but doesn’t give it much attention either. “Daddy just… has some things he needs to sort out. And even though the things haven’t exactly been thoroughly sorted, daddy has at least figured out why he doesn’t… have positive feelings towards you. Do you understand what daddy is saying huh, Sehunnie?”

 

The endearment is something that just slipped out. Without preamble. Without Baekhyun racking his brain for a nickname for his adorable baby son. Without any thoughts, and definitely without any of the negativity that Baekhyun has been harbouring towards Sehun. _Sehunnie_ just… slipped out.

 

And apparently _Sehunnie_ likes it, if the rectangular smile blossoming on his face is any indication. Fingers have released their hold on Baekhyun’s collar and they find each other, palms slapping against each other as Baekhyun watches Sehun clap while laughing that same laugh he’s heard twice now. Baekhyun wants to hear more, and more, and _more_.

 

Sehun’s happiness infects his father, and Baekhyun gently nuzzles his nose against his son’s. “Like daddy’s nickname for you, don’t chu, _Se-hun-nie_ .” He punctuates each syllable with a brush of noses, eliciting more laughter from the little human. Baekhyun is in love. “And of course you don’t know what daddy was talking about. What is daddy thinking, sheesh.” Baekhyun moves his face away from Sehun’s and pouts. Sehun bursts into laughter once more, lips forming a perfect rectangle (showing off his four teeth), the same, _exact_ shape that’s beginning to appear on Baekhyun’s face as he watches his son laugh and clap and _oh, his legs are trying to swing!_

 

Baekhyun really, really, _really_ loves his son now. Sehun is simply adorable and lovable.

 

“No wonder Xing loves being with you.” Baekhyun laughs, and suddenly he feels warm in the chest. He freezes for a few seconds, trying to make out what is happening. It only dawns on him when Sehun places a tiny hand on where his heart is and gives him a simply dazzling smile that Baekhyun instantly recognises as a combination of both his and Yixing’s happy faces. Sehun really is their son.

 

Sehun really is their _son_.

 

 _Ah_ , Baekhyun thinks, _I’ve fully let go of whatever bad feelings I had for Sehun_.

 

And as Baekhyun lets out a sharp bark of laughter before snapping his mouth shut upon remembering that Yixing is asleep, he basks in the wonderful sound that is his precious son’s laughter, letting that sound that only he can hear in this very moment envelop him and prevent him from ever feeling any animosity towards this little human.

 

_And no wonder I would fall back in love with you._

  


\---

  


Baekhyun wakes to find someone other than Sehun sleeping in his arms.

 

“Y– Xing…?”

 

Yixing’s eyes immediately fly open, effectively surprising Baekhyun who jumps a little. Nonetheless, the movement jostles Sehun. Fortunately, the baby sleeps on, as though he hasn’t experienced anything at all. Baekhyun releases the breath he’s withheld, directing his attention to his husband who has shifted, turning his head to face Baekhyun instead of his tummy.

 

“G’morning, Baek.” Yixing greets. The smile on his face is beautiful.

 

“M-Mor–” Baekhyun stutters, the effect of receiving one of Yixing’s dangerously attractive smiles head-on. An effect that only affects Baekhyun even after a decade of knowing each other. An effect that never fails to send Yixing into giggles, a pretty shade of pink dusting the apples of his cheeks. An effect that also never fails to make Baekhyun blush like the reddest tomato in the world. “Morning, Xing.”

 

“Aww,” Yixing coos, hand reaching up to Baekhyun’s face, a thumb and index gently pinching one cheek. “Whatever happened to the _dear_ you called me yesterday? I wanna hear it again~”

 

Is it possible for Baekhyun to blush even more?

 

 _YES_.

 

At Baekhyun’s impossibly red face, Yixing laughs out loud, not stopping or even bothering to cover his mouth when Sehun wakes with a wail, clearly displeased at the ruckus. Although super embarrassed, Baekhyun still rises up to his father duties, attention immediately redirecting to the crying Sehun, hands patting his tiny back and buttock in an attempt to quieten him. It doesn’t work. And Yixing isn’t helping.

 

“Stop laughing!” Baekhyun playfully smacks Yixing’s chest, shoots him a mock glare. Yixing just laughs even louder, and Sehun cries _even louder_. “ _Yixing!_ ”

 

“Y-Your face–” Yixing wheezes. Tears are beginning to form at the corners of his eyes. “It’s s-so, so red! You look hil–hilarious!” And Yixing laughs _some more_.

 

“Xing!” Baekhyun chides, though his tone holds absolutely no heat. Yixing’s laughing face is something he hasn’t seen in a long while, and even as he has a crying and flailing baby in his arms, Baekhyun is still able to admire the good-looking dude that is his beloved husband. But, as much as he is a husband to Yixing, he is also a father to Sehun. So it’s with the most mock angry tone he can muster at that moment, Baekhyun growls, “Sehunnie is crying so stop laughing already!”

 

It is as though Baekhyun has said the magic words needed for complete silence to befall upon them. Yixing stops laughing at the same time Sehun falls into soft sobs instead of the loud wails. Baekhyun mentally pats himself on the back, though he wonders which word he’d said that shut them up.

 

Yixing seems to know. “Baek, did you just… call Shixun,  _Sehunnie_?”

 

Baekhyun blinks and gives Yixing a blank look just as Sehun erupts into a fit of giggles and claps. Both Yixing and Baekhyun snap their heads towards their son, similar expressions of incredulity flooding their countenance.

 

“Shixun… seems to like that,” Yixing pipes up, breaking the silent moment of where both of them were just staring at baby Sehun giggle and smack his tiny hands together, mouth open and rectangular, four teeth on display for all to see. “That endearment you called him. Sehunnie.”

 

And as Yixing utters the newly-discovered magic word, _Sehunnie_ giggles. The baby directs his smile at Yixing, then at Baekhyun. The couch currently seats two fathers melting due to the antics of an impossibly adorable little human that is their baby son.

 

The fathers-son trio entertain themselves like that for a short while, with Yixing and Baekhyun taking turns to call out the magic word and making Sehun fall into giggle after giggle after giggle. They only stop when Sehun suddenly inhales sharply with a soft screech that terrifies his parents. By then, Baekhyun has moved Sehun to one of his thighs, supporting him with a hand on his back, and Yixing is nestled into Baekhyun’s side, legs thrown over the other thigh, head pillowed on his chest while Baekhyun has an arm around Yixing’s shoulders, fingers unconsciously drawing circles on exposed collarbones.

 

Sehun’s wheeze doesn’t break apart their positions, though Baekhyun repositions him when he notices that Sehun’s dozing off. With Yixing’s help, Baekhyun moves Sehun to the empty spot between his crossed legs, resting his back against his abdomen, head on tummy. Baekhyun fondly gazes down at his sleeping son, eyes sweeping over inherited (good-looking) facial features. He doesn’t even know he’s smiling until Yixing teases him about it.

 

“He’s my son. Of course I should be smiling when looking at him.”

 

Yixing nods. He doesn’t say anything, just smiles and gazes at Sehun. The fondness on his face is as clear as day.

 

“Dear.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“About yesterday…”

 

Yixing looks at Baekhyun. He’s still smiling. “I know.”

 

“You… know? What do you know?” Baekhyun says, the fingers on Yixing’s collarbones stilling. “How do you know?”

 

“Soo texted me yesterday after he had lunch with you.” Yixing slips a hand into the hand resting on his shoulder. “He mentioned what happened, and of your feelings towards Shixun, though he’s not too sure about them since you didn’t define them for him.”

 

Baekhyun stares at Yixing who is _still smiling_. Why… How can Yixing still smile after knowing all that? And _ugh Do Kyungsoo_.

 

It’s as though Yixing can read Baekhyun’s mind. “Don’t blame Soo, he just wants the best for us. And besides, I never truly believed that you, mm, _didn’t like_ Shixun. He’s your son, there’s no way you’d ever _truly_ dislike him despite your thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. I knew that you’d get over it.” Baekhyun’s fingers are gently squeezed by Yixing’s. “And you did.”

 

“How’d you know I got over it?” Baekhyun blurts out, heat rushing to his face. Even though he had prepared and decided to have The Talk with Yixing yesterday, it’s still scary now that he’s _doing it_ with Yixing. Nothing has gone wrong yet. Yet.

 

The smile on Yixing’s face grows. “I might have overheard and witnessed some… things yesterday night.” There is a glint in Yixing’s eyes and the smile turns into that of one that seems to speak of a thousand possibilities of what he could have heard and seen.

 

Baekhyun lets out a breath that is one quarter disbelief, one quarter relief, and half fond. “Okay.” The breath turns into a smile. “Okay.”

 

“Welcome back.” Using the hand laced in his, Yixing pulls Baekhyun down to him. He gives Baekhyun a light peck on the lips, then murmurs, “I’ve missed you.”

 

Baekhyun returns the favour, and murmurs back, “I’m sorry I was lost for so long, but I’m back now so you can take a rest for as long as you like. Alright, Xing?”

 

“Mmmmm,” Yixing hums thoughtfully. “I shall if you… call me ‘dear’ from time to time.”

 

Yixing’s expression turns mischievous. Baekhyun laughs breathily. “Okay, okay. Sheesh, you’re so hard to please, _dear_.”

 

And Baekhyun kisses Yixing deeply, lips slotting against each other’s perfectly. On Yixing’s collarbone, their fingers tighten their grip on the other. In Baekhyun’s mind, he thinks about how fortunate he is to have Yixing, to have Sehun, to have them _both_. He also thinks–

 

_Thank you for waiting for me, dear._

 

–and Baekhyun kisses Yixing even deep–

 

Baby Sehun lets out a loud snore.

 

– _aiyo (aigoo for Baekhyun)._

 

And Baekhyun and Yixing laugh against each other’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> also, two baekxings later and that pacrim chansoo sequel still isn't out. someone scold me. do so [here](https://twitter.com/soobiscuits?lang=en).
> 
> comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
